I know you know the struggle…
You buy the toys. They’re SO excited in the store and then you get home and that toy that they wanted SO BADLY at the shop is now…on the FLOOR.
Here are some common reasons toddlers (and bigger kids) don’t play with their toys.
There Are Too Many Toys
Quantity vs Quality
One of the biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to toys is believing that more is always better. However, it’s important to understand that the quantity of toys a child has is not the most important factor. In fact, too many toys can overwhelm a child and actually decrease their interest in playing with them. Instead, parents should focus on selecting high-quality toys that will engage their child and promote skill development.
How the Number of Toys Affects a Child’s Interest
Research has shown that children who have fewer toys are more engaged and creative in their play. Having too many toys can lead to a lack of focus and a short attention span. Children are also more likely to take care of and appreciate their toys when they have a smaller selection to choose from.
The Benefits of Toy Rotation
Toy rotation is a great way to keep a child’s interest in their toys. By putting some toys away for a few weeks and bringing them out again, the toys will seem new and exciting to the child. It’s also a good way to keep the house less cluttered and organized. By rotating toys, parents can also observe which toys their child is truly interested in and which ones can be donated or passed down to younger siblings.
Open Ended Play Vs. Closed Ended Play
Open-ended toys are toys that can be played with in a variety of ways, without a specific end goal or outcome. These toys are important for a child’s development as they encourage imaginative play, creativity, and problem-solving skills. Unlike toys with a specific purpose, open-ended toys allow a child to use their own imagination and come up with their own ways to play.
Open-ended toys such as wooden blocks, little people, or a water table allow a child to use their imagination and creativity to come up with their own play scenarios. This type of play also promotes problem-solving skills as a child learns to work through challenges and find their own solutions. Children who engage in open-ended play are also more likely to take risks and explore their surroundings in a safe and fun way.
Examples of open-ended toys include wooden blocks, play dough, art supplies, and cardboard boxes. These toys allow a child to explore and create in their own way without limitations or instructions. A toy kitchen or a playhouse can also be an open-ended toy, providing endless opportunities for imaginative play. Board games, while not typically thought of as open-ended toys, can also promote problem-solving skills and creativity when played in a less structured, more imaginative way.
Having Age Appropriate Toys In Sight
As a mom of three, I’ve learned that age-appropriate toys are crucial for keeping my kids engaged and safe. It’s important to choose toys that match their developmental stage and promote skill development. For example, my young toddler loves toys that stimulate their senses, while my older toddler enjoys toys that challenge their problem-solving and social skills.
However…variety is also important when it comes to a child’s toy collection. I’ve found that providing a mix of toys that encourage different types of play helps prevent boredom and encourages my kids to try new things. Plus, it’s important to remember that not all toys need to be educational. Play is an essential part of a child’s development, and toys that promote imaginative play or physical activity are just as valuable as those that promote specific skills.
That being said, educational toys can be a great addition to a child’s toy collection. Toys designed to promote skill development, such as language development or early literacy, can be helpful. But as a mom, I always remind myself that play is about having fun and exploring the world, not just about learning specific skills.
Sometimes Toys Bring Out Tantrums
As a mom of three, I know firsthand the struggles that come with using toys as rewards or punishments for good or bad behavior. It can be tempting to use this tactic to encourage good behavior, but it can lead to power struggles and children associating toys with approval or disapproval from adults. Instead, we should encourage children to play for the sake of play.
Allowing children to CHOOSE their own toys can also promote independence and prevent power struggles. When children have the freedom to choose their own toys, they feel a sense of ownership and are more likely to play with them. As parents, we should provide a variety of toys and allow our children to explore and play in their own way.
Teaching delayed gratification is also an important skill that can be fostered through play. In today’s world of instant gratification, it’s crucial for children to learn how to wait and work towards a goal. Playing with toys that require problem-solving or patience can help children learn this skill, which can benefit them throughout their lives.
We must remember that toys are meant for play and exploration, not just for control or instant gratification. By encouraging open-ended play and allowing children to choose their own toys, we can help them develop important life skills and promote independence.
Toys, Toys and More…Toys
As an experienced mom, I know firsthand how stressful it can be to have a house full of toys that no one seems to play with. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new toy or the desire to find new ways to entertain our children, but sometimes the best way to promote play is to provide open space and a few simple toys.
When selecting toys for young toddlers, it’s important to consider their age and developmental stage. It’s also a good idea to provide a variety of toys that serve different purposes, from physical play to imaginary play and problem solving.
While it’s tempting to keep up with the latest toy trends or buy specific toys for play dates or birthday parties, the most important thing is to select toys that your child loves and that promote their cognitive and physical development.
Taking a deep breath and regularly decluttering the toy box can also help create a less cluttered and more inviting play space. And remember, fewer toys often result in more focused and imaginative play.
In the end, it’s all about finding the right toy and promoting play mode that works best for your child. As Dr. Christopher Willard and other child development experts like Elisabeth Stitt of Joyful Parenting Coaching, Claire Lerner, and the author of Raising Resilience have shown, the benefits of play are immense and long-lasting.
So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by children’s toys, take a moment to step back, assess what your child really needs, and make good choices based on their age and interests. After all, the joy and growth that come from play are what make the chaos and mess worth it in the end.
References
- Willard, C. (2019). Raising Resilience: The Wisdom and Science of Happy Families and Thriving Children. New Harbinger Publications.
- Lerner, C. & Dombro, A. L. (2016). Playing with Your Baby: Birth to 12 Months. Zero to Three.
- Stitt, E. (2019). Joyful Parenting Coaching. https://elisabethstitt.com/
- The Science of Happy Families. (n.d.). https://www.scienceofhappyfamilies.com/
- University of Toledo. (n.d.). Department of Psychology. https://www.utoledo.edu/psychology/
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2018). Selecting Appropriate Toys for Young Children: The Pediatrician’s Role. Pediatrics, 142(6), e20183336. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2018-3336
- Lillard, A. S., Lerner, M. D., Hopkins, E. J., Dore, R. A., Smith, E. D., & Palmquist, C. M. (2013). The Impact of Pretend Play on Children’s Development: A Review of the Evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 1-34. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0029321
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). The Power of Play: How Fun and Games Help Children Thrive. https://www.aap.org/en-us/Documents/play-toolkit.pdf
- Cohen, L. J. (2015). Playfulness: Its Relationship to Imagination and Creativity. Academic Press.
Leave a Reply